I’m pretty sure most people have had a full on week. I know I have. Indulge me as I try to get across to you the madness of the last 7 days. I may channel Bridget Jones. No, not by wearing large pants or having said pants charmed off by the floppy fringed one. But by listing the events thus:
Birthday tea-parties thrown by me for the in-laws:1
Arguments with other half during which he dissed my tea-party efforts as “making a few sandwiches”: 1
Dirty looks shot at other half for the hour following sarniegate: 32
Apologies received: 1
Radio shows completed over the Jubilee bank holiday: 4
Times the word “bunting” was said over the course of the above broadcasts: 76
Minutes spent gawping at the grey misty flotilla coverage: 135
Number of 1 minute “nan naps” occurring during the above: 6
Total rainfall in London over the jubilee weekend: shed loads.
Squeezed in amongst the monsoon-dodging, bread-buttering and bread earning was a visit from some family folks, a trip to a kids musical and 4 gallops on 2 beautiful racehorses.
If the past week was made into a movie, the trailer would probably say (in that deep whispery male voiceover) : “One woman’s battle to survive the damp Jubilee and drizzle-soaked half-term against the odds…but she’s not alone.. (change to light-hearted upbeat voice) 3 kids and a flatulent basset stand in her way! “Minging in the rain” at cinemas near you soon”